You say you want help overcoming/owning an awkward situation, but there’s nothing really to own here. No one has done anything wrong. As for the overcoming part, you shouldn’t consider this situation a rejection. I think you should shift away from thinking your past conversations haven’t effectively wooed her into thinking this is just not the right person for you. You shouldn’t have to fight to keep someone’s interest ever in a relationship, but especially at the beginning.
I get she doesn’t feel like a stranger. You’ve talked. You’ve seen her life unfold on Facebook. I think those details coupled with her recurring appearance on the app have maybe intensified the way you feel toward her. This happens a lot! It’s easy to project onto people we barely know and romanticize our connection with them. But this person isn’t the one that got away. Again, that concept is just rom-com fantasy. Social media and dating apps don’t paint a full picture of a person, and at the end of the day, what do you really know about her after a couple brief chats? I understand you want a chance to get to know her better, but if she wanted the same, it likely would have happened already. I think you should focus your energy on talking to people who want to talk to you. There are other people out there FindEuropeanBeauty profiilit who will be thrilled to keep the conversation going.
It’s easy to fantasize about the potential of someone and the potential of a relationship
Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today – if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?
You’re swiping through the sea of faces on Tinder (or wherever) and suddenly see a familiar face pop up. It’s your ex and now your brain is going at hyperspeed thinking about your next move. Left or Right. What’s the move? I’m firmly planted in one camp and hopefully, by the end of this post, you will be too.
I know you’re probably overthinking it and are convincing yourself that there’s no harm. I would like to argue though that a flick of the wrist in the wrong direction can cause you unnecessary emotional TURMOIL.
This is not a sign from the universe that you’re actually meant to be. You’re seeing him because of an algorithm, babe. He’s just geographically close to you.
If you’re debating this much on swiping right on him, your head is probably telling you it’s a dumb move but your heart is screaming to go for it.
Sometimes we have to let logic win to protect ourselves from hurting our own feelings. You are on a dating app to find someone new, not reconnect with a person with who you already know you’re incompatible.
Why You Shouldn’t Swipe Right on Your Ex
If this is a guy you were really into and are upset that it didn’t work out, don’t talk to him. It may rekindle feelings and make it even harder to get over him.
A major part of getting over someone is letting go of that little hope you have that you’ll get back together. Talking to him is a step backward and will probably just hurt your feelings.
You guys are both on a dating app. He is actively looking for someone new and you are too! So, don’t get distracted by the past. Sometimes God is just testing you to see if you’re still stupid.